Profilers and Tribbleations
by PinkAngel17
Summary: Sequel to 'Where No Profiler Has Gone Before'. David Rossi wasn't prepared for the chaos waiting for him, but now he must combat the invaders threatening his sanity. Implied M/G with a special guest appearance from Erin Strauss. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: No, I do not own Criminal Minds or Star Trek or anything that seems even remotely familiar. I will take full responsibly for any insanity the characters may experience during this story though.

A/N: I finally got it posted! The sequel to 'Where No Profiler Has Gone Before'. It's not technically necessary to read that one first, but it would probably explain a few things so this makes more sense. Hope you like it!

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><p>This morning as he left for work there was no reason for David Rossi to think that today would be the day he'd loose what sanity he had managed to retain over the last decade or so. However, as he entered the BAU bullpen his first clue of what lay waiting for him should have been the silence. That is, it <em>should<em> have been. Unfortunately he was a bit distracted by the prospect of getting a horrible cup of coffee before Reid showed up and got to it first.

As he walked up the steps to the landing leading to his office Rossi took a leisurely sip of his warm coffee, savoring the lack of noise in the bullpen and the overall peaceful atmosphere. Yes, so far his day was going just fine. Maybe if he was lucky enough the team wouldn't get case today and he could even start that new book he'd been thinking about.

The team deserved a break after the last couple of months of utter chaos that had befallen them. They were all tired, all a bit cracked under the shell, and all ready for a relaxing week. Fortunately this seemed like it'd be that week.

With a small, half smile Rossi pushed open his office door, not really giving much thought as to way it was opened just a crack. He took a step inside….and stopped dead in his tracks. His office, or what he assumed was still his office, was littered with…balls of fur. Little fur balls of various sizes and colors covered his desk, chairs, window ceils, bookcase, and even the floor in some places. And they were _purring_.

Or maybe that was chirping. He wasn't actually sure how to describe the soft, gentle little sounds that were, in a way, a bit relaxing and also immensely annoying the more it continued.

Rossi cautiously stepped further into the office, making sure not to step on any of the fur balls, and nearly jumped when a couple started vibrating and purring as he accidentally nudged them with the toe of his shoe. Fortunately he wasn't that inexperienced to actually jump or, more importantly, drop his coffee in the process. Instead he trekked his way towards his desk, eyeing each multicolored ball of fur suspiciously as he passed.

Sitting his coffee down on the corner of his desk, which was the only clear area on his desk that was available, he reached out and snatched up a pale pink ball of fur that was resting on the top of his desk chair. It immediately started vibrating and purring in his hand, almost as if beckoning him to pet the soft, furry little creature. And at that moment he knew immediately what it was supposed to be.

A tribble.

He scowled down at the supposedly innocent stuffed toy before dropping it on his desk next to a purple one and a larger black one. He had a feeling he knew where these little invaders came from, or at least he had a list of about six people who could have something to do with it.

He stared down at the masses of tribbles for a second, silently cursing himself when he started reaching out to pet one, and thought about what to do with this infestation of fur. While he was contemplating this attempt to drive him utterly insane, he pulled out his chair, distractedly sweeping a couple of tribbles off the arm rests before starting to sit down.

He didn't get far. The second his bottom hit something soft and furry he jumped up and turned to find the culprit. He narrowed his eyes at the whitish-brown object that had taken over his chair before picking it up and tossing it over his shoulder where it landing in a pile of other tribbles under the window which immediately starting chirping.

Rossi sighed and stuck his thumbs into his pockets while surveying the mess. He was determined not to let the invaders win, or let the miscreants responsible for the headache he was sure would come have the pleasure of seeing him annoyed. No, he would deal with this himself. How hard could rounding up balls of fur be?

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><p>He'd never had a problem with tribbles before. In fact, he would never admit it out loud, but one of his favorite <em>Star Trek<em> episodes was the one with tribbles taking over the _Enterprise_. However, he now realized just how annoying the things were. And these couldn't even reproduce!

At least they shouldn't be able to reproduce, but he could swear that for every tribble he put in a garbage bag another ten appeared out of no where. So far he'd found them under his desk, under his chair, behind his sofa, on top of his bookcase, behind his bookcase, wedged between books on said bookcase, entwined in the window blinds, shoved in desk drawers, hiding under a throw pillow on his sofa, and even in the pockets of the spare suite he kept in the cabinet. And then of course there were the ones just laying haphazardly over what used to be his floor.

He'd spent the last ten minutes trying to collect them. So far he had two garbage bags full and was working on another one. And there were still tribbles covering his office! Of course a few may have escaped when he tripped over one of the garbage bags and knocked it over so they all spilled out and he was forced to hunt them down again.

Even as he felt the last bits of his thinly laced sanity begin to slip away with each escaped tribble he knew one thing for sure…whoever did this was going to suffer. He wasn't sure how yet, but they would. He'd considered throwing the bagged tribbles into the culprits office, locking them in a maintenance closet with the tribbles, or, and this was his personal favorite, duck taping them to a chair and purring the little fur balls over them while periodically throwing a few more just to make the others chirp and vibrate until said person was begging for mercy.

Then again if it was Garcia who was responsible for this she might actually like having tribbles thrown at her. And so far he was betting she had something to do with this. Her and that sneaky bald profiler…and probably the supposedly innocent kid genius….

"What is going on in here?" The somewhat outraged, but mostly surprised sounding voice of Erin Strauss stopped his vengeful contemplations for a moment as he straightened up from where he was attempting to reach a tribble that was hiding under the sofa.

"What does it look like!" He exclaimed, his jaw clenching slightly at such a ridiculous question. "I've been invaded by…these things!" He added, picking up a tribble and tossing it to her for emphasis.

Strauss raised an eyebrow at him before looking down at the grey and white fur ball she was holding delicately in her hands. "I see." She said, a small, barely perceptible smile crossing her face as she hesitantly petted the little thing. "These aren't exactly office regulation for the FBI."

"Really, Erin?" Rossi said sarcastically as he went diving for another tribble. "I can't imagine why. We'll just throw them in a small room with an unsub and the damn chirping will make him confess faster then any professional interrogator could ever manage!" He mumbled as he pulled three tribbles from under a sofa cushion.

Strauss rolled her eyes as he shoved the tribbles into a garbage bag. "What do you plan to do with them?" She asked nonchalantly while picking up a purple tribble from behind the door and tossing it towards one of the garbage bags without releasing the grey one still resting in her other hand.

"I haven't decided yet." He answered before turning towards her with a smirk. "You want them?"

"I think I'll pass." She stated dryly. She glanced out the door before looking back at him. "I'll let you finish picking up here." She added, folding her hands behind her back formally. "I highly suggest you have it cleaned up before lunch time." With a pointed look she turned and left just as a group of very familiar voices started approaching his office.

Upon hearing the approaching members of his team he stopped hunting tribbles and waited for the visitors to step into the room. He nearly rolled his eyes when Garcia stepped inside with a gasp, her eyes lightening up with excitement and surprise.

"Tribbles!" She exclaimed happily, placing a hand on her seven month pregnant stomach as she bent down to scoop up a pink and white one. "Where did you get all these, my amazing superhero!"

"Don't act like you don't know, Kitten!" Rossi stated with narrowed eyes as Morgan followed Penelope into the room with Reid and JJ close behind. Morgan took one look at the chaos before him and started chuckling even while sending Rossi a mock sympathetic look.

Penelope cocked her head to the side, brows furrowing in slight confusion. "I didn't do this." She stated sincerely, though with a hint of amusement. "Promise! Though the other day I was talking to JJ about filling your car with them." She added with a mischievous smile.

Rossi eyed her for a second, using his profiling skills to determine that she was in fact telling the truth. Next he turned his stare to Morgan who simply smiled while raising his hands in the air as if to say he was innocent before casually wrapping an arm around Penelope's waist.

Glancing over at Reid who was studying a bag of tribbles with a mixture of curiosity and excitement he decided that it wasn't the boy genius either. JJ, for her part, was petting the tribble Garcia was holding while smiling amusedly. She looked up at him, catching his eye and shaking her head with a knowing look.

If it wasn't any of them that left two suspect. Hotch he was pretty sure wouldn't subject him to such torture. Emily…that was possible. Though he was almost positive that if Emily was involved than Garcia would be too, but the resident tech kitten was genuinely surprised and in awe about the event.

Before he could start his interrogation to see who knew what about tribble infestations the door was pushed open a bit more by Hotch who was now watching the room with a slightly confused expression, but a also a small smile. "You're giving away tribbles now, Dave?"

"No!" He answered, brows furrowing. "Why?"

"Because I just saw Strauss in the elevator." Hotch started, that small amused smile growing just a fraction more. "She was petting a tribble."

The room was silent, the team members looking at each other with a mixture of shock, amusement, and confusion. No one said a word as they digested that very interesting bit of information.

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><p>Erin Strauss sat at her desk, distractedly running her hand over the soft fur of the grey tribble she had freed from Rossi's office while a triumphant smirk spread across her face. She would never forget the look on David's face she had just seen. If it hadn't been too suspicious she would have taken a picture of him digging under his sofa for an elusive tribble. As it was she'd just have to keep that image etched in her memory. Besides the important thing was that she'd succeeded in her mission.<p>

When she had first overheard Agent Garcia talking about filling David's car with the furry little toys she hadn't given it much thought. But as the day went on she realized it would actually make an excellent plan if executed correctly. And now she was sure that it had in fact worked. Next time, David Rossi would think twice before neglecting to invite her to the BAU's _Star Trek_ marathon.

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><p>AN: So what did you think? Review please!


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